Austin Burket
The Last Time I Played Pachelbel
The priests silently signaled to us that we needed to play a final piece
Always in need of one more song. Almost out of instinct
We pulled out “Canon in D” – it was too overplayed
I found no joy in playing it – All I could think of was, “Why?”
We never played it true to the original, our arrangement was not correct
It didn’t even sound like a canon – a true disaster
We always skipped the repeats and never ended or started together
Maybe He chose it because it was fool proof: the ever repeating
Chord progression, a theme and variations over it (I V vi iii IV I IV V)
We could honestly play any part of the song at any time
And it would sound absolutely fine with no rehearsal
But I always thought, “If only we had ten minutes”
Then I knew we could fix everything, but we never had ten minutes,
We never had any rehearsal. We never had any warning at all.
There was no conductor, but I didn’t need one
I could play it half-asleep if I wanted to, I usually did
His son, like me, knew the piece backwards
And forwards – he had his own variation on the theme
The theme to “Puff, the Magic Dragon”
I laughed inside, but I could not show the congregation
For, musicians have to be completely stoic, invisible
As to not detract from the music itself – “Why is that?” I thought.
He believed in music, that it lifted spirits, calmed storms, transcended life
Just like He did – Even though He wasn’t there to show us
What to do when we were out of place
We had to do it ourselves – we had to trust each other
To be in the right place, to know the part, to adjust
“What else could we do?” I realized.
We needed him, now more than ever
How could we go on? What happens when darkness prevails?
“Do not think of ‘what if,’” they say – but this time, it did happen
The notes cried black tears; the music melted
It was impossible to read, we joined the music in sorrow.
Everything we loved in life was out of reach.
Then for a moment the world lay still, all was at peace
And He was there with all of us – His last goodbye
He conducted from the podium – showing us what to do
Everything that I knew in the world of orchestra was in its right place.
It was in this moment that I realized – all that mattered was the music
Nothing more, nothing less – “why must I question everything?”
Perfection is a man-made attribute – artificial, not transcendent
Like music – timeless, profound, beautiful
He knew perfection didn’t matter
All that truly mattered was a love for what I do, for what we all do.
He gave me that; He gave all of us that
He gave us strength to adjust in every situation – even this one
As the final chord rang out, the audience clapped, and then there was silence.
A faint buzz prevailed in the air, in my heart – a warming chill
That cannot fade away; that will remain forever,
And I will always be here to listen.
